Magistrate – CATHOLIC AND CHOCOLATE

25 Years

Twenty five years young, Ruben and I celebrate today. On February 16,1996 we said our “I do’s” with little knowledge we knew of what a commitment for life would mean. From the moment of our big wedding until now, our lives would grow in ways we didn’t know we needed. And that’s all in thanks to Jesus!

When we met in 1991, we were coworkers who then hung out as friends. It took a while to realize we wanted to date each other. And once we did, it soon became clear to me, who I wanted as my forever mate.

I came from a life of no structure and Ruben came from clear opposite. He came from a life of confidence and was I still seeking it. We both had some seeds of faith sprinkled in our lives that our family had given us, but neither one of us understood it as a priority or its strong purpose.

But through each movement, Ruben let me see his trust. That when his proposal came with the truest love I have ever seen, I said yes with all shakiness and insecurity inside of me. I used to look back at times and think how did I deserve his offer? But now my thoughts confidently shift and know whole heartedly, it was divinely designed. A year later, the great day came. When we took each other’s hands, in God’s presence, and vowed our forevers.

We quickly initiated our marriage life away from our hometown and worked towards our budding new careers. A few years later, a new home, a new stage of life, and a new stage of growth.

In 2001, five years later, lupus changed our stride. Making me weak and having us see, there was lack of importance in our marriage that needed our attention.

Then our brother passed away. And my Dad did too. Life kept teaching us fragility, sacrifice, commitment, and the need to turn to God in every way.

God has continually moved in our lives to grow in areas we didn’t know we needed. To mature and strengthen for what came next. But this only came because we gave Him access into our marriage. Showing us the life we needed to have Him, breathe in us.

And from the very beginning even though we came into our marriage with thorns and thistles (pains/brokenness from the past) to what we thought was enough to offer our marriage, God little by little began to bloom and sow our love throughout these 25 years. How much we were unaware of the need of Him in the soil of souls. To become who we are today and yet better, by God’s grace, who we are tomorrow.

Our life is ever changing and so is our maturity. We are nowhere perfect, but we help each other along the way. We know now our true life is handing over the control and giving to God what is His. To strive for a better marriage not just for ourselves, but for others to whom He places in our lives. It truly is all thanks be to God.

“To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.”

Happy 25th Anniversary, my Hub.

My hero, my best friend.

Corona

We’re in this together,
Some in the beginning did say.
We took each day with news,
It got worse along the way.
The mask, sanitizer, stocked in hand,
shoo’d the sick away from somebody’s land
Days, months in,
And here we are,
Some us yelling
Lives matter, are you listening?
Where brother, sister, neighbor, friend,
defending the color of their skin.
Days, months in,
People Covid, comes with questioning
Will this nightmare ever end?
Looks taken within ourselves
Are we gonna make it count?
For there’s no time for sorrow,
Because only with Him +.
Is there even a tomorrow.

Check your oil!

For about a week, it feels as though there is a turn happening. I don’t know if it is actually happening all parts of the world or just what it seems like for me. The feeling feels like a coming on the verge of something.

Part of it, I believe, stems from fatigue now caused by the continued quarantine and restrictions. I hear it in my relatives voices and see it in the eyes of strangers. At the grocery store, where usually small talk happens, the aim is now the quicker the customer moves out of the way, the better.

Protests under the name of “Black Lives Matter” continue to happen to a degree in cities across the United States, but it appears now some are disguising under it and are rebels causing havoc on the police and city structures.

Racial history and education still much on the forefront, as it should be. Self reflection from individuals to enterprises, changing their company names and associations to themes associated with racial slurs or connotations.

There are those a part of this rebel agenda, who are trying to hijack the race discussion by turning their attention to the Catholic faith in vandalizing statues or churches. They believe these Saint statues were a part of racial injustices. On top of, there have been fires in different parts of the world that have ruined aged cathedrals. One, I know to be arson. The others are still under investigation.

Because there are more issues populating the news feed outside of the Corona virus, it only adds to the hysteria and paranoia to more and more people. People’s patience turning into anxiety, fear, and deeper worry. I have caught myself into it. I feel it physically. Today, I find out my very special aunt who has Parkinson’s is battling it to a high degree. There’s constant news thrown in your face on all the many things happening in our world instead of calming people in the changes that may need to be. Namely, that corona may be here for a while, but on the horizon, a vaccine to help combat it.

Unfortunately, I had to confront a sister of mine on a video she was sharing. This wasn’t the first time a video like this had been sent to me by family. But I had to. Videos like this surfacing all over social media. People giving attention to false prophets telling them that the George Floyd death was planned. Corona virus being provoked by the Democrats. Political talk that shimmers light on a figure that shows them walking a righteous path of God ignoring facts that not all steps have been the best for some individuals or people.

I told her to stop buying into this propaganda. To save them self away from this undue fear. How much the enemy wants us to play into these games and be trampled on in our souls and family lives. Invoking despair and passing it onto others as to lose focus on what we should be focusing on.

As I finished writing this, the thought of the virgins with the lampstands came to mind.

The Parable of the Ten Virgins.“Then the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones, when taking their lamps, brought no oil with them,but the wise brought flasks of oil with their lamps.Since the bridegroom was long delayed, they all became drowsy and fell asleep.At midnight, there was a cry, ‘Behold, the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!’Then all those virgins got up and trimmed their lamps.The foolish ones said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’But the wise ones replied, ‘No, for there may not be enough for us and you. Go instead to the merchants and buy some for yourselves.’While they went off to buy it, the bridegroom came and those who were ready went into the wedding feast with him. Then the door was locked.Afterwards the other virgins came and said, ‘Lord, Lord, open the door for us!’But he said in reply, ‘Amen, I say to you, I do not know you.’ Therefore, stay awake,^* for you know neither the day nor the hour.

My armor and might the Lord has reminded me is to fight with prayer, repentance, and love. To continue to point others to Whom we place our trust and to give Him all control. The day is not to be used in fear, but to pray and love one another. Those are things we can be definite about to our day. Nothing else is in our control. Let’s give Him our days.

COVID19

This post has been transpiring since March 3rd, but only now I sit and write.

The world has been struck a virus. A deadly virus that was born in China and spread rapidly throughout the world (even though that’s under investigation of its origin). Each country receiving devastating results. Hospitals past capacity, treating patients in tents outside as well. In the United States, it hit the State of Washington first. Initially, this virus, called COVID19 (Corona virus), was informed as attacking the elderly and those who are immune suppressed. As the world was showing, as days passed, the information started changing by the minute. It now is known as attacking anyone. No clear rule or definition. People surviving on ventilators. Becoming very sick, near death without any underlying health issues. At this point, after almost 3 months, the world seems to be calming down from this virus.

Because of the rapid spread, the world was on quarantine, which happen to begin when Lent was still in effect. Quarantine, by the way, is a Latin word meaning forty days of isolation. Countries began to follow suit and forbid people to go out, only if medical attention or to buy food. The phrase “shelter in place” or “stay home” commonly used so that people understood staying home meant less spread of the virus. This only drew up fear in some that the shopping frenzies began. People stormed to the grocery stores, big box stores, and bought out all the toilet paper, hand sanitizer, etc. For weeks, people would crowd and stockpile items that didn’t have to be taken since the quarantine never meant you couldn’t go out to buy things when needed.

During the initial weeks, my husband and I were home, while Mom whom we care for, was with my sister.

The daily news fed stories on hospital workers, grocery workers, Amazon (on-line store) workers, “essential workers”, that were working around the clock trying to keep up with the demand. Everyday around three o’clock, the President would give a press conference with some medical professionals and scientists on what is being monitored, done to help, and future impact.

My husband who works for healthcare, was non stop busy from March 3 for a month. There would be days that he didn’t leave the face of his computer. He was working around the clock along with his staff and the entire hospital. All that they were working on came to a screeching halt because the focus turned to COVID19 and how the hospitals were responding. Extra facilities were being opened up to house the not so critical patients so that the hospital could deal with the high number of COVID19 patients. Weeks of intense issues popping up everyday. There was a moment in the late evening, husband still on a conference call, where I heard him say “hold on, my head is spinning.” I felt helpless.

All I did while my husband worked away was prepare him meals and pray. I prayed and prayed. Along with all my family and friends. The world. Out of our control. And from my experiences due to my health, that was somewhat normal.

Then, we received news that we could no longer attend Church. That due to the virus spread, we couldn’t by law be in a congregation setting. Rules starting to dictate no more than 10 can be together. Keep six feet apart. Wear a mask. The virus was airborne and so everything that brought people together, could no longer. Sports, concerts, movie theaters, etc.

Initially, Ruben did all the shopping. Due to my immune and not having a supply of masks, he would go and buy us what we need. We bought food that we felt could last us some weeks. Good in that, we don’t normally eat much on our own.

In the beginning of the quarantine, it felt like okay, this is what we have to do. We’ll handle it! So did our neighborhood and community. We all felt like we will be at peace and have patience. Tons of neighbors walking about. For the most part, people were working from home too so you would see them out all hours of the day.

Then more orders from the government came. Adding more weeks to the quarantine because states like New York and California were hitting devastating numbers of patients and deaths.

In the midst of monitoring the United States and the our impact, I was also seeing China and Italy. They too had devastating cases, but then you saw that the virus had touched the whole world except for Antarctica. India was and is still being hit harshly and it appears their government is only making it worse.

The month of March happened in a second.

April started to feel less strained and with holy week approaching, it felt like no other holy week. Again, none could attend Church and out of all weeks of the year, this is the week most attend. Not even explaining the loss of the Eucharist and how odd on so many levels it was, still is, not to receive.

Pope Francis called for prayer many times throughout. The impact of his prayer and focus for all to watch on TV or live stream, I know for me, meant so much. There was a moment during a special prayer, where he upheld the monstrance outside of St Peter’s in a way that through the TV, struck my soul. Tears abound.

Throughout April until now, our family dealt with trials in the midst of the pandemic. Thanks to God not due to financial needs, but physical and mental health. I felt like the need and call for prayer has intensified each week. I’m sure we are not the only ones feeling this.

Easter brought hope! Renewed faith. The extra weeks of quarantine were coming to an end. Stores were now showing a normal supply of stock. Some exhale was beginning.

May 15th, the date the State of Arizona ended quarantine. Restaurants, salons, shopping centers, all were allowed to open up but only with strict rules. Wear a mask at some and others, your choice. Stay 6 feet apart. Only so many allowed in a store at a time. Enter in one way, exit another. But hey, it’s better than nothing.

Then there became talk about wearing a mask. Mask shows weakness. Liberal agenda insisting on wearing a mask. The most hilarious conversation on the use of a mask. Yes, I wear my mask. I still do. Did before and do now. Lupus will teach you that!

Three weeks out now, but now our world is addressing another virus. On May 26th, a police officer made a decision that has affected our focus once again. Look up George Floyd. I will use another blog to address this event because it has caused me to unpack so many thoughts and feelings.

Don’t know if we will ever get back to normalcy. These last weeks all feel like one month. My husband and I haven’t visited our families. We miss them. We miss doing ordinary things, but know we have a purpose and call to prayer to get us through. All that is happening is requiring us not to just think of ourselves, our country, but the world. How much we are in need of each other. It doesn’t end. The reminders in various ways. And throughout it all, the deep rooted biblical messages. That too, I would like to dive into in another blog.

The chant in the beginning of the pandemic, “We’re all in this together!” I hope so.

A stranger and you welcomed me

This past Sunday, July 14, was to begin the raids on undocumented immigrants by the Trump Administration. As of yet, I have not seen any news or images reported of these actual raids. Not that they haven’t happened. I just haven’t seen it.

This and the issues at the border seem to get worse and worse by the day. The immigrants/refugees that have been coming in through the U.S./Mexican border are still coming in large numbers, of course. I say of course, because whatever could be done on the Mexican side isn’t being done and the bigger issue what could be done for them in their own countries, isn’t be done. Like, a better life. A reason to not flee.

As I was on my way to Mass this morning, I even caught conversation on the Gus Lloyd show on the Catholic Channel. He was giving his take on how some U.S. Catholic parishes are taking in those that the Border Patrol set as fugitives but the Church sees as asylum seekers. He felt that the Church is crossing the line since the government is listing them as fugitives. Callers were giving their opinions whether faith filled, doctrine supported, or just their passionate response.

What caused me to write this blog, even though I have touched on this before, were the responses from these ‘Catholics.’ How can the responses be so left or right? One caller was upset at the fact that at his parish, if the Pastor even showed any support for helping the immigrant, that he would leave. Another caller, spoke about the children being detained are really not part of any family, but just a ploy for the drugs that are being smuggled in. Then of course, there was another caller who said, the Church is participating in a left wing agenda by providing placed for the immigrants to stay. Good God! And I mean that with my hands surrendered to God.

Gus Lloyd said he even struggled with there being nothing mentioned in the Catechism about Immigration. I was shocked. I’m not sure how he wants it described. A section in bold face large letters! But Gus, it’s in there. Just like the Catechism itself comes from the Bible. And with that comes what?

Lately, I’ve begun again to read the Old Testament. Going through the books of Prophets and Kings, as well as, the destruction and saving of God’s people. How many times they disobeyed God and by His mercy, He saved them again. How when they would choose to live away from Him, choosing for themselves what they wanted, which broke away from His covenant and commandments. Taking His word and choosing for them what best benefited. Time and time again, showing them that true fulfillment was living the way God intended and like on earth would be the kingdom of Heaven at hand.

Like what we are taught in our faith, with Jesus, it wasn’t that the law was abolished, He fulfilled it. It wasn’t that ‘hey Jesus is here so just go ahead and forget about all I said before’ (that was God speaking there in case you didn’t get that). No, it was to be continued and added with love your neighbor as yourself.

From every Mass given, from every Church teaching given, where does it every speak that we hold back mercy or grace? Where did God our Father ever hold back mercy and grace in the OT? And when did Jesus hold back on the Cross? Was it before or after He said, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”

Grace of God has always been given when we do things by His will. When we submit ourselves to Him so that the work He wants to accomplish in us happens.

What are we afraid of if we believe we are following Jesus?

Yes, I understand there are not good people in the mix of people escaping to find a better life here in the U.S. I understand there are thousands coming that it appears we won’t be able to take care of their needs. I understand that the countries they are coming from are not doing their part to resolve the bigger issues. But do you see there are droves of refugees going to all parts of the world because things are not getting better?

If we are a faith of PRO Life how do we not understand that means all human life, at any stage, at any time. If we want to help the mother in need with her crisis pregnancy, why wouldn’t we help a mother in need for any crisis?

The Judgment of the Nations. “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit upon his glorious throne,and all the nations will be assembled before him. And he will separate them one from another, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.He will place the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.Then the king will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me,naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.’Then the righteous will answer him and say, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink?When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you?When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?’And the king will say to them in reply, ‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.’

It’s right here. If you are seeking where in the Bible or Catechism does it speak about housing immigrants or allowing them to seek asylum in our country, this passage alone says it. But not to be limited, this passage doesn’t stand on it’s own. It’s the entire Good News message. If the whole point of our lives is to partake in discipleship, how do we determine who’s worthy to share that with?

Now, I’m not ignorant of the fact that border safety must be done. That security for us and those coming in must be dealt with. There has to be better solutions than what we have because I know and many do as well, but the immigrants/refugees/asylum seekers, are not going to stop coming into our country. I think our world is setting them up in higher numbers to flee and come.

God in Your Mercy, help us to not cave into our own fears and worries, about fighting for things that cause divide, to understand we are not talking about a immigrant/fugitive/law breaker but a Person, a child of God, who is putting their hand out for help. +++

The Dialogue of St. Catherine of Siena

Around August 15th, about the time the news broke out on Cardinal McCarrick and the priest sex abuse scandal, I had just received my copy of ‘The Dialogue of St. Catherine of Siena. For some reason, right before this horrific news hit, I felt compelled to read it. Even though I have read many books on St. Catherine, this one I hadn’t. This book is the one big source to her total being. It is odd to me that I hadn’t read it and yet now was the most perfect time to read it.

Quite frankly, I wish I could post a pic of each page and upload her text so you can just skip what I have to say about it and read what was written.

For those who don’t know about this book or St. Catherine, her life’s purpose in a nutshell had to do with reform of the Church. This book is the essential piece to the work she performed to help rid the Church of bad clergy. Much of St. Catherine’s life was a selfless act of humility and servitude. All she wanted was for others to come to Christ and to defend the Church. Two things I hold dear in my heart. However, I am no way near selflessness. But thanks to God, through St. Catherine, He used her at a time when much revolt was occurring and educated her to evangelize the masses during it.

St. Catherine was gifted with such openness to have our Father God speak to her. With that, he gave her multiple “talks” on how to respond, how to pray, what to teach/pass on, how to stay on course of the faith, etc. during the time of purging and restoration.

The dialogue is based on “bad clergy” and Our Lord’s response to that. He often refers to them not as bad clergy but priests who rather “self love” than to love God.

God’s speech to St. Catherine defines who follows Christ and those who don’t. He points out to her what He sees in both.

This excerpt is identifying those who are full of self love. From the book: “…nor the three vows which he promised to observe at the time of his Profession; he swims in the tempestuous sea, tossed to and fro by contrary winds, fastened only to the ship by his clothes, wearing the religious habit on his body, but not on his heart.”

Father God shares with St. Catherine that there are priests performing evil acts. Some so far into it, they can’t even turn away or find God’s mercy. So they continue to stay in their sin and filth. He instructs St. Catherine to pray for them. Pray they come to ask for God’s mercy before they die and how worse is it for a Priest to commit their abuse and never have asked God for forgiveness then for anyone who has committed the same abuse.

He goes onto telling St. Catherine that as much as we despise these “priests” who are causing evil in the Church and letting it fester, that we not lose sight that they are still Priests. To not slander their name or mock them. But to instead pray. To remember, they are priests and that they are His.

He tells her: ” You should love them therefore by reason of the virtue and dignity of the Sacrament, and by reason of that very virtue and dignity you should hate the defects of those who live miserably in sin, but not on that account appoint yourselves their judges, which I forbid, because they are my Christ’s, and you ought to love and reverence the authority which I have given them.”

After I read this, I completely understood it. It hit my soul….”of course.” These Priests are under attack. And some weak, they don’t even know it anymore. There are layers to these crimes committed and are being committed and who they affect.

Vow, Priest, sin, (mercy) >>>Church, Eucharist, faithful, (salvation).

It is not that Our Lord does not want us to be angry at what they’ve done, but to center on the problem that is causing this awful sin and that is the Devil himself. The devil and all darkness is whom we are fighting.

The words and imagery used by Our Lord to St. Catherine speak with love and ferocity. His words are nothing but love and how awful it is for those who lose sight of it. What happens to us when we lose sight of Christ in our lives? Our world becomes foggy, we become clouded by our sin, our hearts are clogged.

This book came at the right time. And since, I keep seeing clergy to the faithful, refer to St. Catherine as a reference on how to go forward. She is thrust out on the forefront again. Rallying the faithful to stop and recognize who we are in this fight against the evil that is in the Church by those who for far too long have kept it hidden. The struggle seems the same but it is new to us. The push to make change or to put an end to the darkness is slowing happening. The task seems overwhelming. But if we take into account, this book, and its bits of instruction, we can plow through. Let’s stay on the Ship.

St. Catherine of Siena, pray for us. +++