Seasons

My husband and I have been married for 20 years. We have no children but try to be in our nephews and nieces lives giving them guidance and/or any support. We’ve never had to take care of any child more than a day and had teenagers stay with us but then go back home to their parents after a week.

So at the end of 2015, it became an instant learning experience, when my Mom moved in with us.

For about a year, my sister and I found ourselves in more stress about my mom’s living conditions. She was living in her home along with my 29-year-old nephew. At first, seemed like a great idea since we took him to be reliable in “watching over her”. See my sister and I both live in other cities.

But things started to drastically change.

She was sent to the ER with peculiar symptoms that resulted in liver issues. Her symptoms were slow and/or slurred speech, disoriented, slow movement, and heavy sleeps.

IMG_9382Due to other issues that surrounded her health, my sister and I felt it best to have her move out of her home and move in with my husband and I. My sister who lives in a more rural area, knew Mom would receive better medical help in Arizona.

However, the change for her was quick even though we had been giving her much time to go over what was coming. To us, our minds were able to distinguish, but for her it didn’t come in that same manner.

In the months following, not only were we trying to find out reason for her health symptoms but she was going through depression of not being in her home and her home town. She never lived anywhere else but Tucson, AZ.

I, too, found myself trying to get used to the new life my husband and I now have. What we had before has changed some. For me, more so, since I’m concerned with her day-to-day. It was getting to be much that for a few months, the stress was getting to me. Waking up with clenched teeth/locked jaw. Trying to compensate her day with things I thought could take away the void she had.  Missing her home, her grandchildren, her family who all lived in the same city.  It was much to let go.

Moreover, not only the change our household living changed, emotional change, but the responsibility of caring for someone was new to me. At 45 years of age, I have never cared for anyone in this way other than for ourselves but we have always lived very simple.

At first, I didn’t think how much it would change our lives. Not in a burden type of way, but our communication, our time alone. There are times when I get nervous or anxious because I fear losing touch with my husband since I’m still learning how to focus on multiple things. It’s like I am concerned for both of them trying to please everyone under our roof.

Part of me finding courage to write this blog is due to this now situation in my life. How my faith is very much of a part of it and praying for God’s will since I thought I was going in a different direction.

I know my Mom is with us for a reason. Not just for a place to stay. Our Lord works in ways that help us confront areas of our lives that we otherwise may not pay attention to.  I need to be aware of that. My husband and I can learn much.

I know my prayer life can be better. It always can, right? Not wanting to cause more stress in my marriage or home, I need to be armored up.

So for those of you who are in a similar situation where you are now caring for a parent, reversed roles, share with me your prayers, success to overcome difficulties, your support, etc. It’s all still very new to me and all I want is to have peace in our home and serve God outside of it too! +++

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Music! Can’t live without it!

Yes I’ve always had a love for music.   Those close to me know my taste in music and are always shocked what I want to share with them.  It’s actually pretty funny!!

My attention to music began around 5th grade.  I was taken by “Saturday Night Fever”, “Grease”, and all the musical films.  I even took up the clarinet for two years in elementary.  I loved my clarinet.  I loved going to the music store to buy reeds. Wow, I was a musician!

Fifth grade included the popular 80’s music of the time. Duran Duran, Howard Jones, Madonna, U2, INXS, Frankie goes to Hollywood, English Beat, WHAM….This was also the same time MTV broke out! Video watching was my past time. You not only got to see your favorites sing, their fashion, but learn dance moves too.  My room was covered with Duran Duran.  Unfortunately, I never did get to see them in concert but it didn’t stop me from being loyal.

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But as with stages in my life, when my Mom and Dad began their decline to divorce, my music became dark.  I was also influenced.  So at the turn of 6th and 7th grade, I started listening to heavy metal. I remember buying a Motley Crue t-shirt at a swap meet and being proud to wear it.  A rebel I thought I was! I started distancing myself a bit from certain friends and found myself with new ones. The t-shirt I wore had a pentagram on it.  I had no idea what it was. Just thinking it was a design. I can’t remember how I found out later or someone told me.  My mom didn’t take it from me either so in my mind I guess I thought it’s ok then! Not sure she knew what it was.

My interest in music stayed this way all through high school.

I had cassettes of The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, The Who, RATT, Skid Row, Pantera, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Ozzy Osbourne, Metallica, Megadeth,…I’m sure there was more heavy metal bands I had but I can’t remember! I also attended just about every concert that would come into town. It was like a badge of honor to collect ticket stubs. Yes I still have them.

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The influence of this music was also due to the type of boyfriend I had in High School.  Unfortunately, at a time where I really needed parental/spiritual guidance, I found myself being very needy of someone’s attention at no matter the cost.

I had much freedom from the music I purchased, clothes I wore, concerts I attended, people who I associated with, time, etc.

Around my senior year, by the help of some very kind friends, I did very well my senior year in order to place myself in good college entry courses.  My maturity brought a bit of change in music too. I was interested in Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Beastie Boys, to name a few.

In 1993 is when I met my husband to be.  He couldn’t have been more different than what I was “accustomed to”.  We had mutual friends and that’s how we met. He came from a disciplined family, attended Catholic school, and graduated from university. We often went to dance clubs with family and friends. We enjoyed our fun with the sound of Heavy D, Boyz II Men, and whoever else was being played in the clubs. Can’t say it stuck with me but I did enjoy dancing! To this day, we still are an odd music bunch!

I had a short affair with country music. I still am a fan of George Strait, Tim McGraw, and Faith Hill. And of course, Johnny Cash.

After a pilgrimage to Italy in 2006, an awareness to global music was found.  I right away found interest in European artists who sang mainly in their native tongue. I found that I could get a radio feed from here and listen music from anywhere .  With the help of iTunes, I started downloading artists such as Pino Daniele, Jamiroquai, Negramaro, Jovanotti, Laura Pausini, to name a few. It made me feel connected to other parts of the world.

In finding spiritual music, I found  chant music to the most reverent when I want to go to that prayerful place.  My playlists include Cysterian Monks, Poor Clares, and Gregorian. I am not a fan of Christian popular music that is too loud or blaring.  If you want to me to think about my relationship with Jesus it shouldn’t be like the pop music over the radio.  That’s just my opinion.

If you listen, there are many artist who give glory to God. U2 is one of my favorites!

Music will always be a way out for me to an emotional place!

St Cecilia, pray for us! +++

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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