Breaking
Hearts around the world unite with yours
Each day
Sadness pours
Cries
Anguish
Prayers are sent
In all your beauty it does not fade
For through your people
His glory remains
Tag: Saints
Who am I?
A while back I wrote a post that I very much wanted to get off my chest. However, because I was rushing and not paying attention, I deleted it by accident. I still had the subject line “Who am I?” But since then, this post content has changed.
It also has been a while since I’ve written. Lately, my mind has been busy and I just can’t get myself to settle to write.
Whether it’s making sure home life is right and somewhat in order for my Husband and my Mom or tending to opportunities I want to be a part of. For example, I want to do this formation or that formation, listen to this podcast, or read this book. But also, because my mind has been overloaded with news.
For whatever reason, I’ve been home alone these past two days to just “think”. I used to have this quite a bit before my mom moved in with us. I now appreciate it so much more, but I wouldn’t give up taking care of my mom to have it all again. These opportunities that come from time to time are embraced.
So what is it? Why do I feel a bit anxious, a bit emotionally weak? Pretty sure I am not the only one. Social media has so many thoughts about the current world. Sometimes you see one breaking down in tears and another is baking a cake.
But, with the news continually showing what is happening in one country recovering from natural disaster – hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, there is also added threat to this all from a dictator who is pushing his agenda to cause more suffering.
I don’t work, so I don’t have an 8 hour part of my day where I could invest my thoughts into something. So these last two days, I have been praying while doing whatever needs to be taken care of. Praying for those who died, who are waiting to be rescued, who are suffering, grieving, worrying, fearing.
It’s so strange the paradox that is going on. Here in Arizona, these days have been beautiful. Such ease – being able to drink my morning coffee in comfort. Grocery shop with many options. Take a shower. Lay comfortably in my bed at night. Read a book. It feels both guilty and very grateful at the same time.
How are we to keep joy when so much around seems grim?
You know what came to mind? I think of Saint Paul singing in prison.
ACTS 16:17-25
She began to follow Paul and us, shouting, “These people are slaves of the Most High God, who proclaim to you a way of salvation.”She did this for many days. Paul became annoyed, turned, and said to the spirit, “I command you in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her.” Then it came out at that moment.
When her owners saw that their hope of profit was gone, they seized Paul and Silas and dragged them to the public square before the local authorities. They brought them before the magistrates and said, “These people are Jews and are disturbing our city and are advocating customs that are not lawful for us Romans to adopt or practice.” The crowd joined in the attack on them, and the magistrates had them stripped and ordered them to be beaten with rods. After inflicting many blows on them, they threw them into prison and instructed the jailer to guard them securely. When he received these instructions, he put them in the innermost cell and secured their feet to a stake.
Deliverance from Prison. About midnight, while Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God as the prisoners listened…
This passage always blows my mind. Paul didn’t fear what was about to happen to him. He continued to stand up for belief in Jesus and even after they tortured him, he still carried on giving thanks and glorifying God. Making sure all around him witnessed his true example.
Who am I these days? It’s been somewhat challenging with family and friends around me these past weeks, where I suited up the Armor of God to help them in their weaknesses even though I too have felt challenged. Reminding them to pray, not to lose hope, keep reading the scriptures, get to Church.
Who do you say that I AM? Simon Peter said in reply, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”
Whether time is near for Jesus to return, whether there will be much more suffering ahead, I hope our faith becomes stronger and love pours out from our souls. To know Jesus has conquered the world. To continue living each day directing our lives to Him.
Lord God, I want only for the appearance of my face and the depth of my soul to show your presence in my life. Make me an instrument of your peace and use me for your will during these trying days and for what’s ahead so that you find us ready. +++
San Juan Capistrano Mission – San Juan Capistrano, California
Thanks to my cousin who showed me the Mission.
In my stays in San Clemente, I was blessed to be shown around the other beach towns from family. One spot that I always try to go to to this day is San Juan Capistrano.
Over the years it has changed, but one thing that hasn’t is the Mission and its properties. It’s great because you can pay a small fee and tour the old mission and see how St. Junipero Serra founded this mission. Not only did he find the San Juan Capistrano mission, but also eight other missions throughout California.
The property is gorgeous and once you are within the walls that surround the mission, it feels like you are taken back in time. It is filled with beautiful gardens and sounds of nature.
Outside of the Mission, are eateries and shopping. Strolling about, gives me that sense of Rome.
This is a statue of Junipero Serra in front of the basilica.
Altar
This is a niche with Saint Juan Diego.
Outside, back of basilica, are the ruins of the original mission.
To think this is where the main altar was. You can see it probably included small statues within its wall.
Mass is still celebrated in this chapel. I’m guessing it holds about 50??
The look and feel of this mission is just peaceful. When walking through the gardens, you get the coastal air. I could sit there for hours. There is also a gift shop that carries many beautiful handmade religious items.
San Juan Cap is definitely where I like to go each time I get to Orange County.
Here is more information on the Mission and Basilica.
Patience and Prayer
There are things I do a bit different now that my mom lives with us. I find myself not participating in things as much which is somewhat a 
setback.
There were years after I was diagnosed with Lupus, where I didn’t want to commit to anything. One, it would cause paranoia, the thought of being around social scenes or people made me overwhelmed. Two, my lifestyle changed which meant I no longer was socializing the way I used to. I became more reserved. Mainly because I could no longer physically enjoy a “party” outing. Bars / dance clubs were no longer my thing. My husband , thanks to his commitment to me, did what I wanted to do, so he too stayed away from people and events to stay with me.
However, in the past recent years, I was grooming myself to step out and stop being fearful. Making commitments whether taking classes, volunteer, simple friend dates, etc. I was feeling some confidence.
Lately, it feels like I’m not keeping that up and it’s starting to set me back to the old ways.
But today it hit me. Patience.
Life may have opportunities for me come June. In the meantime, I’ll do my best to get mom active. Use time to create. Just spend the time with her while my husband is working during the day. I need to redirect my focus and be joyful in my day. Not feel burden or weight of what I can’t change but look at what I can control.
Lately, I’ve been praying for the gifts of the Holy Spirit.
Praying for change in me. I know that by praying for this my Lord will use me for purpose. Sometimes I think, I’m not around many people how can I be useful. But you never know what His design is if you keep thinking of it in your terms.
This blog for one. I pray that it is a useful tool to get others to relate as a first step closer to hopefully reaching out to Jesus.
Pray too for the gifts of the Holy Spirit! You’ll become salt of the earth if you try! Sometimes we want to get from point A to point B so badly, but it might just take a bit longer. There’s a reason my life is where it’s at. I’m truly grateful I am able to do what I am able to do. Keeping myself purposeful in the capacity that I can.
St. Catherine of Siena
As I was learning more about my faith, I heard many share with me who they chose as their patron saint. I kept thinking how does one choose that? I vaguely remember at confirmation it being a requirement to choose a Saint but if I did, I don’t remember who I chose.
Once I started to read more books and learn about my faith, there was always a Saint that would flutter my heart. St. Catherine of Siena was the Saint for me. My interest in her started about the same time the Catholic Church was being exposed for the awful sexual abuses. I remember our parish had a sense of divide. Some left since they could not separate the men who did harm from the Church, then there were those that followed the excommunicated priest to their own made up church, and others like me who stayed put.
The books I read about St. Catherine of Siena came at the right time. Her history is based on recognizing what the Church is and what it is not. Her determination to set things right and to share the intensity of following Christ. She was a Dominican and is a Doctor of the Church. Her main caveat was her effort and success in reforming the papacy during the 14th century when she convinced Pope Gregory XI to move back to Rome from Avignon.
My husband and I were blessed in 2006 to go on a Catholic pilgrimage to Italy. We really went into it blind not knowing what to expect. As a gift for our travels, a close friend of mine gave me a card she had wrote with a quote from St. Catherine. I thought…wow…it’s a sign. There’s a reason why I keep connecting to this Saint.
On our trip, we made a stop in Siena. What a gorgeous place! Picturesque walkways that would lead to the piazza/main square. Restaurants, bakeries, shops all set in medieval architecture. The end of our day, our hosts guided us to visit the Chapel of Saint Catherine, Basilica of San Domenico. Here only her incorruptible head entombed is shown. At first I was a bit freaked. Why was it that we only had her head and why was it shown? On the tour, our great host priests clarified that back in the day, m
any towns all over the world where the Saints walked had bits or pieces of their bodies for reverence purposes like bone fragments, clothing, “relics”. Also, many had miracles tied to them so the thought was spread them around for the chance of increased faith to grow.
This trip gave me a boost! A boost in love of faith. I felt like a warrior ready to get back home and go deeper! To get a grip and better understanding of the Church with guidance from St. Catherine. It’s amazing how much we can take for granted on what the Saints did for the Church, for us. If we took the time out and read up on a Saint, we would see how relevant their examples are to our day today. Most of the popular TV evangelists are not saying anything new. And the Saints that did speak about similar life issues, most likely did it with their life in the balance.
Another inspiring tidbit about St. Catherine…she’s the Patron Saint of Italy!!!! Of course!! Of course she would be. I have loved Italy for so long starting with pizza as a child, which led to Italian food, and then developed into it’s beauty, food, art, lifestyle. Of course she would include that for me too.
Hopefully, this will get you to thinking who would you like to read about? Google it! I’m telling you, you won’t be disappointed.
Thank God for the Saints and thank you St. Catherine for always punching those words into my heart and set fire!+++
CATHOLIC AND CHOCOLATE 